Unwavering Panic
by MamaKatie
Summary: It always happened at the most random of times. Ruby finally understood what she meant.


_It always comes at the most random times._  
That was how Yang described it to Ruby. The feelings of terror, the memories, the honest-to-god feeling that death was near.

She wasn't doing anything special. Ruby was held tightly against Weiss, cuddling on their shared bed, discussing memories of Beacon.

"I just don't understand how it took you nearly two years to give Jaune the time of day," Ruby teased, nuzzling into her girlfriend's neck, as she laughed, thinking of her best friend just a few doors down.

Weiss flicked her. "Have you met the boy?" she huffed, rolling her eyes, though when she looked back at the brunette, there was playful glint in her eyes. "He was clueless. I wasn't about to waste my time on someone who didn't even know who Pyrh—"

Clamping her mouth shut, Weiss shot up in the bed, concern shown on her face. The look on her partner was one of terror.

"Ruby?" she asked, tentatively reaching out to take her hand.

It was an unspoken rule within both teams, RWBY and JNR, that there were topics not to be crossed.

 _The clashing of swords, roars of the dragon Grimm and screams of hunters, families, children, filled her ears. She could barely concentrate on her own thoughts as she sped through the crowd, rose petals following her. She swung._

"I-it's fine…I'm fine," Ruby sat up, looking anywhere but Weiss. Her heart was pounding, and she could hear the faintest sound of her girlfriend apologizing as she stared at the ground, clutching her hands into fists, so tight she almost broke skin.

She wasn't sure when she started to hyperventilate. She was pretty sure it happened sometime after the tightness in her chest became overwhelming. Or perhaps when the tears began streaming down her face.

Time had never been her friend after all.

' _You can do this.' It was the final encouragement she would receive for months._

 _She heard it before she could comprehend it._

 _Everything was loud around her, but she heard nothing else. The gasp of her friend, losing breath quickly. The shot of the final arrow. The clang of her crown on the ground – the only thing left of Pyrrha Nikos._

She was stuck. Around her, Ruby curled into herself, negative thoughts that she fought so hard to hold back invading, like a virus spreading through her system.

"—by? Ruby!"

Weiss was there. Kneeling on the ground in front of her, talking to her. Ruby could barely comprehend it, but it was there. She felt like she was fighting a losing battle, still unable to catch her breath, but had the slightest idea of where reality truly was.

"It's okay…you're here," Weiss whispered, slowly sitting up, pulling her leader into her arms, remembering the need for physical touch that Ruby had developed since beginning their relationship. "We're in Mistral. You're on your bed…safe. I'm here, and your sister and Blake are just next door. We're all safe…" she continued to talk her down, receiving a nod every now and then from the trembling partner.

Twenty minutes passed, and Ruby began to sit up.

"S-sor—" she began to rasp, before going into a coughing fit.

"Here," Weiss handed her a cup of water from the nightstand next to them, slowly helping her drink it.

They sat in silence, Ruby laying across Weiss' lap as she stroked her hair gently. It was intimate – a tell-tell sign of the trust and bond the pair shared.

Eventually, she spoke. "Do you…wish to talk about it?" Weiss asked, a sympathetic smile on her face.

Ruby paused. "Not really."

"You really shouldn't keep this inside, you know. But it's alright…we don't have to discuss it now," Weiss sighed. "Has this happened before?"

"Not entirely," Ruby whispered, eyes closed. "I guess…I mean, I have nightmares all the time. But nothing like this. I guess I never really had time to slow down and process anything beforehand. After everything we went through…it was just one thing after another."

 _The Fall. The split of team RWBY. The formation of RNJR. Qrow's poisoning. The reunion._

The unspoken events played through both of their minds, from memory or imagination.

"But, my sister has them," she added, and Weiss nodded.

Nothing needed to be said. All of them had gone through trauma, in one way or another, so the ex-heiress wasn't surprised in the least to hear about Yang, or witness Ruby's attack. She wouldn't be surprised if her or Blake developed something similar.

No, it wasn't surprising.

But it was terrifying. Even moreso when it was her fault to begin with. She had to be better – more considerate, more careful. Such things were easy to forget when your leader acted fearless 98 percent of the time.

Weiss bit back the thought. That was something to address another day.

"Hey Weiss?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm sor—"

"Ruby Rose, don't you dare apologize for this," she huffed, rolling her eyes.

"But—"

"You've gone through a lot. All of us have," Weiss sighed, playing with her locks of hair flowing across her face. "And while I'd appreciate a conversation about this later, it's understandable. You don't have to pretend just because you're the leader."

Ruby sighed, too tired to argue.

"…I suppose you're right."

The hesitation spoke for itself. Weiss knew they would have this conversation again later. She simply let it die down for now; it was not the right time to lecture to distressed huntress.

"…hey Weiss?"

"Yes Ruby?"

"Thank you," Ruby smiled weakly, holding her hand gently. Her smile was pure, full of gratitude, even in the hardest of times. It reminded Weiss of why she fell for her dolt. "I love you."

Weiss smiled. "I love you too."

It was unexpected, and a panic for both parties, but Weiss was determined to help her love through anything, and right now, the comfort of them in each others arms, safe, was enough.


End file.
